The Backup Couple
The social horror! We have ended up in the backup couple zone. You know, that couple you call when the wonderful couple you first called and invited to a three-course meal at very short notice cancel for some reason.
“Kenny here. Speak if you want. I do not guarantee that I will listen though.”
“Hey. It’s Lazlo!”
“Waaaazup sucka’ L? Like Musse Pigg I’m all ears.”
“Don’t you get it? Mickey Mouse is just ears, after all.”
“Uh… ha ha then. Listen eh… do you and the family wanna come over tonight for dinner? It’s basically served. ”
“Wow! That was a short puck, as we old ice hockey players say. It sounds nice.”
“Yes uh… we thought so…”
“It was really a long time ago. Must check with the Mrs, though.”
“Ok. I’ll hold…”
“What? No, let me call you back in a moment.”
“Well… can’t you give me an answer now?
“What’s the urgency?”
And that’s was when I realized it. Lazlo didn’t call and invited us because they really wanted to. They invited us because the situation forced them. If this was not an elbow invitation, I do not know what was. Invitation over the phone at quarter past three on a Saturday afternoon can be nothing but an elbow. A badly curved one.
Oh my God! We have ended up in the backup pair zone! You know the couple you fall back to when the A-couple you first called and invited to a three-course meal at very short notice cancel for some reason. We all have such couples in our circle of acquaintances. However, I did not know that we could all be that couple. Damn! I can almost hear the dialogue when the handset is hung up from the conversation with couple A and when plan B is to be rolled out.
“Oh shit, we have a lot of food and wine leftover. What should we do?”
“I know, let’s invite the Sucks!”
“The Suckers? Do we really have no other options?”
“He is so fucking weird, haha this and hehe that, about everything.”
“He’s quite funny.”
“Funny? When he tricked us to come dressed out at ghosts”
“Okey, that was awkward but otherwise he’s kind of fun to be around.”
“Are you kidding? Jokes that are dead when they are delivered and let’s not talk about how he attacks the wine. As if it were an enemy somehow.”
“Yes, but he’s not that dangerous.”
“If it were not for the wife who kept him down a bit in tempo, you would think that you are stuck in the dimension where everything goes awry.”
“I hear you, let’s not invite them and dedicate the evening to sit and look at each other instead.”
And this is probably the worst thing. You will not get on the invitation list at all until all the other options are worse. Not plague or cholera but plague AND cholera. And if the choice is to sit and look at each other a whole evening or invite the back up couple from hell, well the last option is jus a tad better alternative. The couple who play in league B. Who draw anecdotes about the caravan journey and who gossip about sad couples outside one’s circle.
The only consolation is that since Lazlo wanted an answer immediately, there is at least one more couple further down the social shit list. And all this because they couldn’t see the humor in being the only couple dressed up in a skeleton make-up and skeleton suite? Some people really hold a grudge.