The Relationship Expert — Part One “Sundays”
A crash course in 10 modules on how to happily handle the transformation from the state "I" to the construction "we". In this episode we’ll investigate why a brisk walk in the forrest is your new weekend fun.
Disclaimer: I suspect that some people will choke on their morning coffee and think that I’m generally prejudiced and that the Neanderthal lamp shines unusually bright over my head. But my aim is to just try to explain to the less knowledgeable men what’s ahead so that they are better prepared to ride into what they call, the twilight zone into what we know is a healthy relationship.
Therefore, The Relationship Expert or Dr. Love (among friends), is arranging a brief crash course in how to happily handle the transformation from the life situation “I” to the construction “we”. This is part one of the mini series of 10 relationship tips.
Part one - Sundays
“But I want my Sundays for myself!”
“Forget it, I said wisely.”
Wise as only the men who know that, in a relationship, among the first thing that goes down the drain, is a lazy Sunday afternoon with 5 hours of a marathon of Planet of the Apes. Followed by the carefully curated and well-preserved collection of adult movies.
And the bitter thing about the *cough* movie collection is that you can’t hide them anywhere in the household. You can’t give them away to a buddy, that’s still single, with the inherent requirement to be able to borrow them whenever it suits (girls-night-out for example), as you do not want your friend to find out what a sick puppy you really are.
“So you mean I have to walk on Sundays just because the sun is shining?”
“But the sun always shines somewhere!”
“And thus, some bastards always walk somewhere.”
“Walk? Like stroll?”
“The doctor’s order here is to invest in a pair of comfortable shoes. Some walks can escalate to hour-long hikes.”
“Why can’t we use my car?”
“It’s not good for the environment.”
“But its’ a brand new Tesla!”
“Tesla — mesla. It’s not as cozy as a romantic walk.”
“But it’s raining for God’s sake!”
“Don’t be a wuss now. A little drizzle has never killed anything.”
“Yes, my mood.”
“A little stroll will make you happier. A Bad mood is not an excuse for neglecting a brisk march in the forest.”
“What if I have a hangover?”
“Even if your hips are squeaking, your head is throbbing, and you see small green men, just go out and be grateful for the blackbird’s beautiful song.”
“Do you mean that you know how they sound?”
“Not even if you served me a million dollars, could I tell the difference between the duck’s hoarse crack or the sparrow’s discrete mumble in the jungle.”
“But you know that there are ducks, blackbirds, and sparrows. Come on!”
“I consider myself to be a modern man.”
“Sure you are.”
“Don’t forget that holding hands is mandatory.”
“Hold the hands too? And why do I do this again?”
“The mantra here is cozy moments in the sack”
“I do it. But it’s with a protest!”
“Well, the muttering is the only thing you have left.”
In the next episode, we will take a look at why the nights out with your buds no longer is your own decision.