The Relationship Expert — Part Two “Nights Out”
A crash course in 10 modules on how to happily handle the transformation from the state “I” to the construction “we”. In this episode we’ll investigate why the nights out with your buds no longer is your own decision.
Disclaimer: I suspect that some people will choke on their morning coffee and think that I’m generally prejudiced and that the Neanderthal lamp shines unusually bright over my head. But my aim is to just try to explain to the less knowledgeable men what’s ahead so that they are better prepared to ride into what they call, the twilight zone into what we know is a healthy relationship.
Therefore, The Relationship Expert or Dr. Love (among friends), is arranging a brief crash course in how to happily handle the transformation from the life situation “I” to the construction “we”. This is part two of the mini series of 10 relationship tips.
Part two — Nights out
Forget booking an evening out with the boys on a Saturday night or any other night for the matter, and then ask your girlfriend.
No siree bob! Nono! Nope! For a hassle-free weekend, always ask your girlfriend what she (read: we) will do this weekend. If the opportunity turns out to be that you can hang out with your buddies, just suggest it kind of mellow, like it’s a sacrifice you make.
Neither more nor less. Extremely important not to overact here. Do not think Boris Karloff here… think… think… any other actor. Keep it mellow. We are talking method acting in its finest form here. Think DeNiro. If you overact, you risk not only this evening out, but many nights out in the future.
You have been warned!
And when you’re out and about, make sure you’re not having too much fun. One thinks it would be the opposite, ie when you for once is allowed to go out, you would make sure to compress as much fun as possible so that you can make a mental walk down the memory lane to the club and memories, when you (read: we) hang out in the laundry room folding sheets.
Forget it! Do not have too much fun.
You will have a hard time hiding the fact that it was your best night out in a long time and that will backfire when you at least expect it. You can also bet your last dollar that the most beautiful girl that night will try to pick you up. They can tell just by a glance at you, that you’re in a relationship and thus a target. Murphy’s law and all the beautiful girls in the club conspire and try to mess up your life.
Repeat: Do have fun but not too much!
Drink. But not too much since you most likely will drive to IKEA early in the morning, to get that ugly vase.
In the next episode, we will take a look at why you no longer can see yourself as one unique individual…